[ before going away to college, donna actually lived a pretty sheltered life. it never felt that way, she never felt like she was missing out on anything, but. y'know. she was only a kid when her father died, and then life on the island wasn't exactly the same as living and growing up in new york city. it didn't matter how many times diana brought her to gotham to spend time with dick - even those visits were skewed since she spent most of her time at the wayne manor.
so.
living in her own apartment in the city threw her in the deep end when it came to accomplishing basic things you need to know how to do when you're living solo. she knew they were all important skills to have, but what she didn't know was that soon after college she'd be moving into a penthouse across the country with a friend that didn't know the first thing about any of it. which- is funny. it's really funny. it's amusing trying to answer questions without making him feel ridiculous, although they're so close that even when she does take a second to answer him like she thinks he might be joking, it probably doesn't sting as much as it would coming from someone else.
it's fine. they've totally got this.
the titans base of operations is nearly all set up - closets filled and furniture arranged - but what they don't have is food. there are only so many nights they can order take-out before donna bites the bullet and suggests a trip to whole foods. which is when they discover another thing dick's never actually had to do before. which is actually kind of exciting? okay, exciting is a strong word. but it's one of the more fun things to do when you're living on your own. well, fun because dick has a credit card with basically no limit, but that's here nor there. so they make a list, think up meals they want to try and make. it's all very organized and awesome. they're nailing it.
the store parking lot isn't too packed, which is a relief because this might take longer than your average trip to the supermarket. ]
Alright- I'll push the cart, you're in charge of the list. [ said as they approach the lines of grocery carts outside of the store ] Oh, did we put eggs? We did. I think we did? Just double check for me. [ she's... assuming he has the list, anyway. ]
dick never thought he was spoiled or anything -- he grew up in a circus, for fuck's sake, didn't come to live at wayne manor until he was a tween. he spent his nights fighting gotham's worst on the streets. he spent his days at public schools, on his insistence. and, okay sure, he was going to yale. where bruce is an alumnus. and has donated a lot of money. i didn't just get in because of him, he'd said hotly, every time it came up. and he didn't, but you know, it sure helped.
point is. he hadn't realized until the dorms how much he relied on alfred for, well, everything. he knew how to do some basic cooking, laundry, and all, but he'd never been to a laundromat before. he'd never stepped inside a grocery store. he'd never had a roommate.
so he rolls his eyes when donna tells him he isn't allowed to go alone, but a part of him gets it. and a part of him is glad for her help, even if he's never going to admit it aloud. ]
Eggs? [ he pulls the list out of his jacket pocket -- he has it! no worries! he's so got this! -- and consults it while walking. this could be dangerous if he weren't dick grayson, but he's able to quickly sidestep around anything and anything in his path as he reads it. ] Nope. That was a good catch.
[ now he's gotta rifle in his pockets to see if he has a pen, so he can add it on there... ]
[ donna's already reaching into her messenger bag by then, and quickly finds a pen for him to use. she plunks her bag onto the seat in front of the carriage and pulls it from the row, of course now taking the time to try and think of any other stragglers in mind. she's sure there isn't, they spent so much time talking through meal plans that it's hardly possible, but. they also talked about eggs, too, so who knows. ]
We talked about breakfast, but I think we got a little caught up in the waffle vs. pancake discussion. Omelettes, though, with spinach and feta? [ she kisses the tips of her fingers ] You can show me some of those cooking skills. And I- [ she pauses to take a look around once they step through the sliding door entrance, very quickly deciding that they'll go left and work their way back. their list might be organized, but that doesn't mean she knows where any of the stuff is. ah. it's fine. they're not in a rush. ] I'll be the most supportive cheerleader and taste-tester that you've ever had in the kitchen.
[ she knows that's probably not true - that if he learned from alfred there was probably no shortage of support, or constructive criticism. still. she likes the idea of learning from dick, even if she'd never admit it, and trying things that would be new for both of them. new foods. new intensely healthy smoothies that she doesn't hate nearly as much as she pretends to. they've got any appliance they could possibly need, so really it's just a matter of what recipes they can find on google.
it also depends on if donna can find the damn diary section. which reminds her- ]
We really should be starting with dry and canned things, and then working our way to fresh food - meat, dairy, frozen - so we don't have cold food sitting in our cart? But fuck it, let's start here. [ the meat department. it's fine. it's not like they'll be here that long. hopefully. ] Alright, what's up first?
[ he accepts the pen without looking up, eyes narrowing just a little as he focuses on scrawling eggs without punching straight through the paper on accident. luckily, he's working with thick, expensive paper with his initials beautifully illuminated at the top; bruce had left reams of it at the tower as a surprise gift for when they got there. donna had teased him about it mercilessly.
without missing a beat, he says, ]
Everyone knows waffles are just bargain bin pancakes.
[ and shoots her a grin as he drops the pen back into her bag, keeping the list in hand for a reference. ]
I know you will, [ he says sweetly, one of those rare moments completely free of bullshit that only seem to happen around donna. ] Besides, do you even have stoves on the island? Impressing you isn't going to be hard.
[ ...and then he immediately ruins the moment. anyway. he shrugs at her assessment of where they should've started, looking back at the list. ]
Bacon, because someone said she'd die if we went one more day without. And, uh, some hamburger meat.
[ there's a "they are not" on the tip of her tongue, but they just had this discussion, and she's so not going to get into it again. especially out in public. so instead he just gets a look. the look that lets him know there will be a continued discussion about the subject, but later. because- ]
Excuse you.
[ they do have stoves on the island, thank you very much, and he knows that. so that little wounded look doesn't last long, and instead she ends up pursing her lips as she looks over the different sections of the department. she gestures at the case with ground beef ( and turkey, and chicken ), leaving the mission of finding bacon up to her. and yes, once she does, she's going to grab three packages because it's her life and she's going to live it the way she wants to. and that is with an abundance of bacon. ]
I'd appreciate it if you didn't announce my mortal weaknesses in the middle of a crowded supermarket, thank you very much. [ said in quiet tones, very hush hush. ] And don't even think about switching to ground turkey, I won't let you taint my bacon cheeseburgers that way.
[ she has Needs, okay, and those needs include red meat. and bacon. and a best friend that supports those needs. ]
[ well, donna makes step one easy enough. he grabs a couple of packages of ground beef, unsure how many they'll really need. four? is four a good number? and he's, of course, grabbed the all-organic stuff, from cows that weren't fed any hormones or GMOs or whatever, because that's what alfred buys, probably.
he laughs when she returns, though, puts his hands up as if in surrender. ]
I can't believe you think I'd do that. [ switching to ground turkey, announcing her kryptonite. even though he basically did do the latter. ] Has anyone ever told you that you have a problem?
[ her jaw drops, and it's only like, half feigned offense. the other half is actual offense. ] This coming from the guy who tried to feed me cauliflower crust pizza the other day, like I wouldn't notice.
[ after she takes in the fact that that's.. a lot of ground beef ( it's fine, they'll use it. probably. ), he's getting a look, but at least it's amused this time ]
I'm asking if you like them. We could make a few dozen using the sixty pounds of chop meat you just grabbed. And still have enough left over for burgers.
[ her eyes brighten, but she manages not to laugh at her own joke, yes. hyperbole is always funny. ]
It was good! You thought it was good, before I told you what it was.
[ is this true??? maybe it's true!!! he's gonna say so anyway. ]
Oh, yeah, Alfred makes 'em sometimes. Stuffed mushrooms, too. [ and lobster...but he is not up for trying to cook lobster on his own, much as he likes it. anYWAY, looking from donna back to the packages of beef. ] That's not sixty pounds, and you grabbed way more bacon.
[ how did dick grayson make it through high school without ever going on a date?
well. his nights were pretty booked. and, tragically, robin didn't get asked out on too many dates. he did make it out to the occasional party, even school dances (even managed to stick to one to the end. more or less. sort of.); but in donna's words, making out in the corner is not the same thing as a date, grayson. which is why they're doing this, donna "older smarter prettier" troy showing him how a real date is supposed to work.
more like, critiques his ideas all night, probably. but it won't hurt to learn, and he's definitely going to impress her anyway, and hanging with donna is always fun.
so he is knocking at her door, holding...not a bouquet of flowers! because that felt too much like taking a girl to the prom. but there are (3) roses in his hand. nailing this. ]
okay, no. not bad, bad is a strong word. ridiculous? definitely. but it feels less ridiculous than setting him up with this really sweet girl without making sure he's not about to raise her stress levels 1000% after spending a night with him. she only knows her from class and a few study sessions, but she's wound almost tighter than dick and that's, y'know, impressive. but she's downright lovely, and bright, both in demeanor and intellectually, so. no, she's not expecting them to run off into the sunset together, but a fun night that isn't completely shallow? sure. they both need it.
so that's what brought them here, a few days before the date dick is set to go on, donna using it as an excuse to wear a cute dress and heels because why not? if they're going on a test date, she may as well look the part.
she doesn't keep him waiting when he knocks, her expression- not quite expectant, but maybe a little bit when she answers the door. of course, her smile perks up when she spots the flowers. well played! ]
Well, hello. [ she puts on a coy look, tucking her hair behind her ear before she points to the roses. no, she won't be putting on an act the whole time, but she seems to find it amusing for now ] Are those for me?
[ she takes her performance so far as to taking the flowers and delicately smelling them, but it helps that they're there because they hide her somewhat shameless smile when he tells her she looks beautiful. dick's complimented her in such a way before, but that doesn't mean she doesn't like to hear it every time. she leans back into her apartment so she can put the flowers down on the nearest table, settling back right on time to catch that comment. ]
-- Do you want me to give constructive criticism in real time, or should I make mental notes for the drive home?
I loved the flowers, loved the compliment, did not totally love the feeling that we're on a tight schedule so we need to keep it moving.
[ she bumps the button to get them back down to the lobby, stepping back to stand beside him again. ]
I'm speaking as someone who doesn't know you at all, remember? Just- try and keep it relaxed. Even if your plans are on a schedule, she doesn't have to know that.
[ they aren't on a tight schedule, because he accounted for travel time and also traffic at this time of day, but he considers that pointing that out doesn't seem very chill. ]
Relaxed. No, I'm relaxed. This is relaxed.
[ that's a thing that relaxed people feel the need to point out, definitely. they hit the ground floor, and he leads her out to the porsche. pauses to! gallantly! open the door for her first! ]
[ of course he brought the porsche. that said- she doesn't hate it, honestly. it's impressive without being too flashy, but only because they're in the city and it takes a lot to come off flashy. but it still earns a small huff before it gives way into another smile, one she doesn't hide even once she's getting in the car.
she waits until the car is started and they're pulling out of his spot before speaking up again. ]
So. What brings you to town? [ mm, no, she already knows he's going to say he's here to visit and friend, that's too easy. ] Are you thinking about going to school here? [ also kind of an easy one, but y'know. baby steps. ]
[ he opens his mouth to answer, and then closes it when she switches tracks. ]
Uh, no. I'm just visiting a friend. [ there's a pause while he gets them on the road, then on their way to the destination; after that, he shoots her a quick look, trying very hard (and failing) to keep a straight face. ] Something tells me you might know her.
text; when they're definitely just living down the hall from each other
[ there's definitely a momentary burst of laughter he can't help. why did they drink so much...tequila. why was tequila a good idea. ]
Maybe it'd send the right message. Maybe more villains would start taking me seriously.
[ look it turns out a lot of baddies remember your embarrassing childhood habits and catchphrases even when you grow up?? poison ivy asked about if he wanted tips picking a major for college once, it was awful. ]
[ and now she's laughing harder, enough to make her feel the need to muffle it into her pillow, even though there's no chance anybody will overhear her but him. still, she can't help herself ]
I just can't picture you with a mustache and the mask. oh my god. you'd look like oliver queen trying to pose as robin.
And besides, villains take you plenty seriously. We're not sidekicks in this town, remember?
grocery 101 for dummies;
so.
living in her own apartment in the city threw her in the deep end when it came to accomplishing basic things you need to know how to do when you're living solo. she knew they were all important skills to have, but what she didn't know was that soon after college she'd be moving into a penthouse across the country with a friend that didn't know the first thing about any of it. which- is funny. it's really funny. it's amusing trying to answer questions without making him feel ridiculous, although they're so close that even when she does take a second to answer him like she thinks he might be joking, it probably doesn't sting as much as it would coming from someone else.
it's fine. they've totally got this.
the titans base of operations is nearly all set up - closets filled and furniture arranged - but what they don't have is food. there are only so many nights they can order take-out before donna bites the bullet and suggests a trip to whole foods. which is when they discover another thing dick's never actually had to do before. which is actually kind of exciting? okay, exciting is a strong word. but it's one of the more fun things to do when you're living on your own. well, fun because dick has a credit card with basically no limit, but that's here nor there. so they make a list, think up meals they want to try and make. it's all very organized and awesome. they're nailing it.
the store parking lot isn't too packed, which is a relief because this might take longer than your average trip to the supermarket. ]
Alright- I'll push the cart, you're in charge of the list. [ said as they approach the lines of grocery carts outside of the store ] Oh, did we put eggs? We did. I think we did? Just double check for me. [ she's... assuming he has the list, anyway. ]
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dick never thought he was spoiled or anything -- he grew up in a circus, for fuck's sake, didn't come to live at wayne manor until he was a tween. he spent his nights fighting gotham's worst on the streets. he spent his days at public schools, on his insistence. and, okay sure, he was going to yale. where bruce is an alumnus. and has donated a lot of money. i didn't just get in because of him, he'd said hotly, every time it came up. and he didn't, but you know, it sure helped.
point is. he hadn't realized until the dorms how much he relied on alfred for, well, everything. he knew how to do some basic cooking, laundry, and all, but he'd never been to a laundromat before. he'd never stepped inside a grocery store. he'd never had a roommate.
so he rolls his eyes when donna tells him he isn't allowed to go alone, but a part of him gets it. and a part of him is glad for her help, even if he's never going to admit it aloud. ]
Eggs? [ he pulls the list out of his jacket pocket -- he has it! no worries! he's so got this! -- and consults it while walking. this could be dangerous if he weren't dick grayson, but he's able to quickly sidestep around anything and anything in his path as he reads it. ] Nope. That was a good catch.
[ now he's gotta rifle in his pockets to see if he has a pen, so he can add it on there... ]
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We talked about breakfast, but I think we got a little caught up in the waffle vs. pancake discussion. Omelettes, though, with spinach and feta? [ she kisses the tips of her fingers ] You can show me some of those cooking skills. And I- [ she pauses to take a look around once they step through the sliding door entrance, very quickly deciding that they'll go left and work their way back. their list might be organized, but that doesn't mean she knows where any of the stuff is. ah. it's fine. they're not in a rush. ] I'll be the most supportive cheerleader and taste-tester that you've ever had in the kitchen.
[ she knows that's probably not true - that if he learned from alfred there was probably no shortage of support, or constructive criticism. still. she likes the idea of learning from dick, even if she'd never admit it, and trying things that would be new for both of them. new foods. new intensely healthy smoothies that she doesn't hate nearly as much as she pretends to. they've got any appliance they could possibly need, so really it's just a matter of what recipes they can find on google.
it also depends on if donna can find the damn diary section. which reminds her- ]
We really should be starting with dry and canned things, and then working our way to fresh food - meat, dairy, frozen - so we don't have cold food sitting in our cart? But fuck it, let's start here. [ the meat department. it's fine. it's not like they'll be here that long. hopefully. ] Alright, what's up first?
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without missing a beat, he says, ]
Everyone knows waffles are just bargain bin pancakes.
[ and shoots her a grin as he drops the pen back into her bag, keeping the list in hand for a reference. ]
I know you will, [ he says sweetly, one of those rare moments completely free of bullshit that only seem to happen around donna. ] Besides, do you even have stoves on the island? Impressing you isn't going to be hard.
[ ...and then he immediately ruins the moment. anyway. he shrugs at her assessment of where they should've started, looking back at the list. ]
Bacon, because someone said she'd die if we went one more day without. And, uh, some hamburger meat.
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Excuse you.
[ they do have stoves on the island, thank you very much, and he knows that. so that little wounded look doesn't last long, and instead she ends up pursing her lips as she looks over the different sections of the department. she gestures at the case with ground beef ( and turkey, and chicken ), leaving the mission of finding bacon up to her. and yes, once she does, she's going to grab three packages because it's her life and she's going to live it the way she wants to. and that is with an abundance of bacon. ]
I'd appreciate it if you didn't announce my mortal weaknesses in the middle of a crowded supermarket, thank you very much. [ said in quiet tones, very hush hush. ] And don't even think about switching to ground turkey, I won't let you taint my bacon cheeseburgers that way.
[ she has Needs, okay, and those needs include red meat. and bacon. and a best friend that supports those needs. ]
-- How do you feel about stuffed peppers?
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he laughs when she returns, though, puts his hands up as if in surrender. ]
I can't believe you think I'd do that. [ switching to ground turkey, announcing her kryptonite. even though he basically did do the latter. ] Has anyone ever told you that you have a problem?
[ js ]
What is there to feel about stuffed peppers?
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[ after she takes in the fact that that's.. a lot of ground beef ( it's fine, they'll use it. probably. ), he's getting a look, but at least it's amused this time ]
I'm asking if you like them. We could make a few dozen using the sixty pounds of chop meat you just grabbed. And still have enough left over for burgers.
[ her eyes brighten, but she manages not to laugh at her own joke, yes. hyperbole is always funny. ]
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[ is this true??? maybe it's true!!! he's gonna say so anyway. ]
Oh, yeah, Alfred makes 'em sometimes. Stuffed mushrooms, too. [ and lobster...but he is not up for trying to cook lobster on his own, much as he likes it. anYWAY, looking from donna back to the packages of beef. ] That's not sixty pounds, and you grabbed way more bacon.
dating 101 for dummies;
well. his nights were pretty booked. and, tragically, robin didn't get asked out on too many dates. he did make it out to the occasional party, even school dances (even managed to stick to one to the end. more or less. sort of.); but in donna's words, making out in the corner is not the same thing as a date, grayson. which is why they're doing this, donna "older smarter prettier" troy showing him how a real date is supposed to work.
more like, critiques his ideas all night, probably. but it won't hurt to learn, and he's definitely going to impress her anyway, and hanging with donna is always fun.
so he is knocking at her door, holding...not a bouquet of flowers! because that felt too much like taking a girl to the prom. but there are (3) roses in his hand. nailing this. ]
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okay, no. not bad, bad is a strong word. ridiculous? definitely. but it feels less ridiculous than setting him up with this really sweet girl without making sure he's not about to raise her stress levels 1000% after spending a night with him. she only knows her from class and a few study sessions, but she's wound almost tighter than dick and that's, y'know, impressive. but she's downright lovely, and bright, both in demeanor and intellectually, so. no, she's not expecting them to run off into the sunset together, but a fun night that isn't completely shallow? sure. they both need it.
so that's what brought them here, a few days before the date dick is set to go on, donna using it as an excuse to wear a cute dress and heels because why not? if they're going on a test date, she may as well look the part.
she doesn't keep him waiting when he knocks, her expression- not quite expectant, but maybe a little bit when she answers the door. of course, her smile perks up when she spots the flowers. well played! ]
Well, hello. [ she puts on a coy look, tucking her hair behind her ear before she points to the roses. no, she won't be putting on an act the whole time, but she seems to find it amusing for now ] Are those for me?
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All yours, [ he says, handing them over to her. adds, ] You look beautiful.
[ because, you know, she does. then he nods back towards the elevator. ]
C'mon, the reservation's for 6:30.
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-- Do you want me to give constructive criticism in real time, or should I make mental notes for the drive home?
[ she's mostly teasing him, yes, but. really. ]
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What was wrong with that?
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[ she bumps the button to get them back down to the lobby, stepping back to stand beside him again. ]
I'm speaking as someone who doesn't know you at all, remember? Just- try and keep it relaxed. Even if your plans are on a schedule, she doesn't have to know that.
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[ they aren't on a tight schedule, because he accounted for travel time and also traffic at this time of day, but he considers that pointing that out doesn't seem very chill. ]
Relaxed. No, I'm relaxed. This is relaxed.
[ that's a thing that relaxed people feel the need to point out, definitely. they hit the ground floor, and he leads her out to the porsche. pauses to! gallantly! open the door for her first! ]
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she waits until the car is started and they're pulling out of his spot before speaking up again. ]
So. What brings you to town? [ mm, no, she already knows he's going to say he's here to visit and friend, that's too easy. ] Are you thinking about going to school here? [ also kind of an easy one, but y'know. baby steps. ]
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Uh, no. I'm just visiting a friend. [ there's a pause while he gets them on the road, then on their way to the destination; after that, he shoots her a quick look, trying very hard (and failing) to keep a straight face. ] Something tells me you might know her.
text; when they're definitely just living down the hall from each other
[ she might still be tipsy from when they drank for literally no reason before it's fine ]
good
[ lbr they're both wasted and it's definitely donna's fault ]
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[ he can probably hear her laughing from her bedroom ]
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Maybe it'd send the right message. Maybe more villains would start taking me seriously.
[ look it turns out a lot of baddies remember your embarrassing childhood habits and catchphrases even when you grow up?? poison ivy asked about if he wanted tips picking a major for college once, it was awful. ]
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I just can't picture you with a mustache and the mask. oh my god.
you'd look like oliver queen trying to pose as robin.
And besides, villains take you plenty seriously.
We're not sidekicks in this town, remember?
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[ IT'S SO FUCKING TRUE, OH GOD. ]
I know you heard when that diamond thief asked if it was past my bedtime
[ he knows because she started laughing, and it was rude af ]
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she doesn't count.
She also thought she could catch a shuriken with her bare hand
shuRiken
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Stop it
With her hand
She def needed stitches
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nailed it* jfc
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